[AYAOTD? Recap with Erin Callahan] 3.13 "The Tale of the Dangerous Soup"

RECAP

Frank asks the gang to disclose their most irrational fears, then finally--FINALLY!--reveals that he’s afraid of the dark. He warns the gang that they have to stand up to their fears or risk being eaten alive, and then spins a tale about exactly that.

Nonnie works as a hostess and bookkeeper at The Wild Boar, a restaurant famous for its one-hundred-dollar bowls of soup. She hires Reed as a new employee and introduces him to the restaurant’s chef, none other than Dr. Vink (“with a va va va”). As a new employee, Reed gets a single taste of the soup, and Dr. Vink warns him to never try sneaking another. But he does, and Nonnie lies to protect him. Reed and Nonnie then witness a strange encounter between Dr. Vink and one of the waitresses. The waitress emerges from the walk-in freezer looking shaken, and Nonnie realizes that Dr. Vink has been scaring the employees to get the secret ingredient for his soup. Dr. Vink concedes, revealing that he possesses a Boggart-like gargoyle that senses what a person is afraid of and then collects their fear as a serum. He subjects Reed to fear extraction, but Nonnie opens the door, freeing the gargoyle. This turns the entire restaurant into a “fear chamber.” When Reed finally faces his fear of his abusive dead uncle and saves Nonnie from a room with the walls closing in, it looks like he’s stopped the dastardly Dr. Vink. But of course not -- who are we kidding? *maniacal laughter*

Because Tucker refuses to admit that he’s afraid of anything, Frank challenges him to stick his hand in a mystery box. Tucker panics and scampers off. When Gary asks what’s in the box, Frank says, “Exactly what Tucker is afraid of.” He opens it to reveal...NOTHING. LOLOLOLOL.

REVIEW

T: We open with Frank making everyone share their biggest fears with the recurring bit that he’s afraid of the dark. Now I want Gary to tell a story about heights, Kiki about dogs, Sam about birds, and Tucker to tell a slasher tale. Betty Ann’s already incorporated attics in “Tale of the Dollmaker.” Speaking of, does that mean the famous creepy attic in the opening credits is Betty Ann’s?

E: Oooooh! Great theory. And this version of Frank is such a nice counterpoint to last week’s toxic masculinity shit show. Not only does he open up the floor for his fellow storytellers to confess their fears, he confesses his own. I’m not saying he deserves cookies, but it’s a level of vulnerability we rarely see from him.

T: Frank: “A bird can’t hurt you.” Um, what? There’s dangerous birds who hurt people, Frank. Do not listen to him, Sam!

E: For reals. Has he seen Jurassic Park? Birds are tiny dinosaurs, Frank. They will tear your freaking face off.

T: It’s twenty-one-year-old Neve Campbell! This is back when she was working in Canadian TV. Shortly after this, she booked Party of Five, which ran until 2000 while she was also killing it in The Craft, Wild Things, and of course the Scream series. When Nonnie’s frightened in the climax, you can’t help but see Sidney Prescott. Love it.

E: While we were watching, my boyfriend said, “I bet this is how she got the job as Sidney in Scream.” No idea whether Wes Craven saw her in this and was like, “That’s ma girl!” but Neve excels at terror. Her reactions are so visceral and nuanced, you feel it in your blood and guts. The dude playing Reed doesn’t stand a chance next to her, but it’s cool. Apparently he’s gone on to become a very successful artist. He’s even friends with Banksy, no joke!

T: Some of these former child actors make you wonder what became of them. And it’s really cool one of them is chilling with Banksy.

E: I’m sure a lot of creative kids are attracted to acting and then ultimately realize their talents lie elsewhere.

T: It’s VINK! I love it. D.J. holds off on showing him like it’s a reveal, but that voice is so unmistakable in the opening scene. Then we just see his back until he grandly turns toward the camera. It’s the type of reveal that works even knowing full well what the information is.

E: It’s like hearing sleigh bells on Christmas Eve and running down the stairs to find Santa scarfing cookies. But this Santa will trick the shit out of you. “Your presents? Oh, they’re in this strange little room over here. Pay no attention to the statue.”

T: Vink gets a full costume change! In “Midnight Madness,” he’s wearing an old timey director’s version of his “Phantom Cab” hobo shack clothes. Here, he’s full out cosplaying a chef, with the added color pop of his tasting spoon necklace thing?

E: He looks hilariously dapper! And I think that spoon necklace is supposed to be a chef’s medal? Er, medallion? Whatever. Some kind of award that he undoubtedly gave to himself.

T: “The recipient of this year’s Vinky goes to...myself! Ha ha ha!” And working with Nonnie at Dr. Vink’s restaurant is Kimmy Gibbler! OK, I know Jersey’s not REALLY Kimmy Gibbler, but come on. And why does she even work at a restaurant when she’s so petrified of knives she won’t even touch them? Don’t waitresses touch silverware constantly?

E: That is an absurd fear for a waitress. There are a bazillion knives in every kitchen and they’re not always hidden away in boxes. Get a job as an admin assistant, Kimmy!

T: It’s like D.J. knew Neve Campbell would be a big star, so he gave her Dr. Vink’s “va-va-va!” gag.

E: She delivers it with such panache! We’re also treated to the classic reminder that he is NOT a nutbag.

T: Vink is usually in control, so I love seeing him irritated with Jersey.

E: In the same way that Sardo got to be a more integral part of the action this season in “Carved Stone,” we get a little more emotional range from Vink this season.

T: Reed’s a great character. He feels fully fleshed out. He’s just trying to work, and falling for Nonnie, and has to deal with being abused as a kid. They don’t try to go out of their way and make him a sad sack or anything.

E: In the context of a 20-minute episode, he’s got a complicated backstory and some pretty interesting motivational dynamics. His whole “I’m a cool guy and nothing scares me” schtick at the beginning of the episode is a little cringey, but it makes perfect sense for his character arc.

T: Reed’s fears are VERY different than snakes or knives. An abusive family member might be the most real world issue they tackle. It doesn’t feel exploitative, and is probably why we’re focusing on characters a little older than usual.

E: Abuse is a next-level fear, and I’d argue that, to some extent, Frank strayed from his own theme here. The story is supposed to be about “irrational” fears—things that scare us even though we know they very likely won’t hurt us. Reed’s uncle may be dead, but really did hurt Reed, which makes this much more about direct real-world trauma than most of the other fears explored in the episode.

T: Frank, my friend, PTSD and birds are real! Speaking of age, is this the only episode in which there’s no minors? Nonnie and Reed are probably supposed to be eighteenish, but the actors are 21 and 19, respectively.

E: These two definitely seem to be the oldest protags we’ve seen yet. We never see them in school and Reed is living on his own, so they could easily be young twenty-somethings.

T: I’m torn on the gargoyle. On one hand, Vink is such a strong presence, you can’t really shoehorn in another talking villain. This is similar to “Midnight Madness” pairing him with a silent vampire. But I wished they’d gotten a more menacing looking gargoyle. He looks too cute. AND the flight effect isn’t good. We praise the fantastic special effects quite a bit, but every so often there’s a clunker, although it’s a very short shot.

E: It looks like something the props department picked up at the Canadian equivalent of Home Depot, and the flying effect is more cringey than Reed’s Surfer With A Chip On His Shoulder vibe. That said, I love the backstory, minus the reference to the tribe as “savages” of course.

T: Vink usually comes across as larger than the protagonists. He’s taller than the child actors and given so many layers it bulks him up, but he’s much smaller here. Reed’s several inches taller and Nonnie’s about his height. It gives him a different perspective.

E: I didn’t notice this while watching, but you’re right. I’m not sure it was intentional, but that plus the increased emotional range makes me wonder if it was an attempt to humanize him a bit. After all, the more human and relatable a villain is, the scarier it is when he does something terrible.

T: I love Nonnie’s reveal, “It’s the room that scares me!” That gargoyle’s fear room is pretty nightmarish and then throw in closing walls. Yep!

E: This was one of my own intense, irrational fears as a kid, made even worse by the presence of spikes on the walls. Late-’80s TV had me convinced that I’d be encountering quicksand and spiked rooms on a fairly frequent basis.

T: Don’t you? I’m currently waist deep in some quicksand. It’s so warm…

E: Troyson! Do not drown in the Swamp of Sadness, godammit. We have recaps to write.

T: So Reed and Nonnie overcome their fears and Dr. Vink recovers the gargoyle so it won’t reap evil in the world. But he’s still going to terrorize Reed and Nonnie with it and make his soup. So the moral is you can conquer your fears, but can’t kill them?

E: I still love this ep, but Frank’s point gets a bit muddied by the fact that, as a recurring villain, Vink has to win.

T: So last week I mentioned we had snow for the first time, and this week we get a great shot outside the restaurant of a snowy landscape. It does a great job of setting the mood here. I want more snowbound horror!

E: Yes! Snowscapes should be a staple of Canadian horror!

T: And we return to the Midnight Society and Frank pulls off the-frightening-box-is-empty routine from Dune! Horror fans will also recognize it from the original Phantasm. Well played, Frank.

E: So glad I’m not the only one who immediately thought of Dune! I read the novel as a tween and that scene is burned into my psyche.

QUEER OR NOT?

T: Dr. Vink’s camp, but there’s not much here, especially since there’s a burgeoning relationship between Nonnie and Reed. Hopefully they go to therapy together after this.

E: Wouldn’t that be adorable?! You pointed out that Jersey is reminiscent of Kimmy Gibbler. Isn’t there something queer-adjacent about any Gibbler-esque character? Kimmy’s alternative-femininity wasn’t always celebrated on Full House, but it was refreshing to see it on TV.

T: I can easily see a lot of queer girls connecting with Kimmy Gibbler.

TRIVIA, USELESS TRIVIA

T: In “Phantom Cab,” Dr. Vink shows the boys the brains of a wild boar. Now he’s running The Wild Boar restaurant. When he explains the gargoyle’s background, there’s even a boar’s head on a plate behind him.

E: I’m not a strict vegetarian, but that boar’s head was the grossest thing in the entire episode. Also, do you think that disgusting fear soup was supposed to be a shout-out to spunge?

T: OHHH! I meant to tell you that spunge is proof of the Mandela effect! I rewatched “Tale of the Hatching” and spunge isn’t green, it’s white. We both thought it was green and have referenced it being green. Nope. I think it’s because the goop the eggs are in is green and the headmasters drink something green that we misremembered it.

E: This just blew my mind. You’re totally right. Spunge looks like mashed potatoes, not slime.

MODERNIZE ’90s CANADIAN KIDS

T: Hmmm. Dr. Vink’s timeless, yo. I’d establish this as an afterschool job for teens. And that gargoyle would be scary AF. Right now it reminds me of one of the cute dudes from Disney’s Gargoyles.

E: I’m onboard with all of these suggestions. Could we also have Neve Campbell make an appearance as Nonnie’s mom?

T: Heck yeah. Anything is better with Neve.

JUST GIVE IT A NUMERICAL RATING ALREADY

T: What a great ending to a solid season. Vink’s fun, Reed’s empathetic, Neve’s showing her star quality. What’s not to love? 9.5 OUT OF 10 CAMPFIRES.

E: Muddied themes aside, I adore this episode. The concept is...delicious...and this is one of the earliest examples of why Neve Campbell was born to do horror. Plus the ending scene with the Midnight Society has such a great pun! I’m gonna go for a full 10 OUT OF 10 CAMPFIRES.