[AYAOTD? Recap with Erin Callahan] S06E04 "The Tale of the Virtual Pets"

RECAP

Megan, who inexplicably has both a pager and a cell phone, keeps getting paged by her mom. After snatching the cell phone and hanging up on Megan’s mom, Vange goes on an anti-technology tirade and then tells a story about what would happen if your computer started using you instead of the other way around.

While surfing the late-90s interwebs, Tom finds a scarily advanced website called Digger. After asking that Tom “feed” it, the website attacks him with a laser, causing him to dematerialize and vanish. At school the next day, a zombified Tom is giving out virtual pets to his fellow students. Gamer Isabel is psyched to receive one, but her friend Kate knows nothing about computers and would rather rely on a good, old-fashioned pencil. Isabel becomes obsessed with her new pet, which demands to be fed and then zaps her with a laser. The laser dematerializes Isabel and replaces her with an alien clone. Sensing that something is up, Kate skips volleyball practice and follows Isabel, Tom, and two other classmates to Tom’s house. Kate sneaks into the basement and finds her real friends trapped in virtual pet consoles and hooked up to Tom’s desktop computer. The Digger website is set to upload their “data” in five minutes. With help from her friends, computer-illiterate Kate tries everything to get the computer to crash and prevent the upload. Nothing works and, to make matters worse, fake-Isabel shows up to put a stop to Kate’s efforts. After pushing past Isabel, Kate grabs a mirror and uses it to reflect Digger’s lasers, destroying Tom’s computer and the upload device. Kate’s friends are saved and reappear in their non-virtual forms.

Megan checks her pager, drops it on the couch in a panic, and runs off, followed by Tucker and Andy. When Vange picks it up, the message displayed reads, “Feed me…” Turns out Quinn and Vange have conspired to scare the rest of the Midnight Society, and now Vange has a new pager.

REVIEW

T: Oh, wow. This Midnight Society opening is hella cringe and I keep disliking Quinn more and more. Megan so far is “rich snob,” which I don’t love. Vange is energetic (and maybe a plucky conspiracy nut?) and Andy is still a worker bee, so they’re cool.

E: I actually thought it was cute when Quinn asked Andy to make a big fire because he’s feeling chilly, but then he has to go and be a dick when Andy trips. And Megan -- jeezus cripes. Why does ANYONE need both a cell phone AND a pager? Was this ever a thing? Like, if her mom wanted to talk to her, WHY DIDN’T SHE JUST CALL THE PHONE???

T: Absolutely, there’s no need for both devices, BUT D.J. gave her both to hammer home the idea that everyone’s computer-obsessed.

E: Ughhhhhhhhh.

T: Vange is going again? I had wondered if the Midnight Society stories would make more sense in seasons 6 and 7 so I wouldn’t have to rearrange them for my upcoming PROPER WATCH ORDER, but yeah so far it’s been Tucker, Vange, Tucker, Vange telling stories.

E: I noticed that too. Unfortunate, since I’m dying to hear an Andy story.

T: Next week! And you might wish you hadn’t…

E: Dammit!

T: I guess it makes sense that Tom getting Tron-ized into the computer is CGI, since it goes with the theme. It’s not good CGI, but I’ll let it pass.

E: Like, it’s not the worst CGI I’ve ever seen? And, as you said, using it here makes sense. It’s supposed to look digital. It’s not trying to pass itself off as a live snake, for example.

T: They’re doing computer’y scene transition wipes? That’s a hard pass for me.

E: Same. Fancy transition effects are pretty much never necessary.

T: I’d be okay with ONE digital wipe as a cutesy transition.

E: *shakes head* Nope.

T: Is Digger’s “Feed me” a Little Shop of Horrors reference?

E: I wondered the same thing, but overall this episode doesn’t feel like it references Little Shop? I certainly think you could do a cyberpunk Little Shop, but that’s not really what this is.

T: Digger Tom is decently creepy with his pale face, bags under his eyes, and a freaking neck tattoo! Tom’s like ten, and he has a neck tattoo? Badass…

E: The bad tattoos are a bit much in my opinion, but all the young actors do a very solid job playing the Digger versions of themselves.

T: Okay, so the leads here are best friends Kate and Isabel. Isabel is fine. She’s excited about computers and I’ll admit I get that way with some games on my iPad (currently crushing it on Mushroom Wars II). But Kate is the worst human being on this series in a long time, right? I’m going to stop myself from bashing hipsters. What do you feel about Kate, Erin?

E: Not a fan at all and, worse than that, I just don’t find her believable as a young teen in the late-’90s. The internet was still young then, and not everyone had a computer in their home, but Kate is so clueless and so anti-technology, she comes off as a haughty old woman crammed into a tween girl’s body. The really sad thing is it’s totally unnecessary. Lots of tech-savvy kids in the late-’90s thought Tamagachis were silly and annoying. I totally would’ve bought Kate as an average kid who’s not as knowledgeable as her nerdy, hacker friends and thinks virtual pets are a waste of time — they just took her computer-phobia waaaaay too far.

Is she really a hipster? Is that how you read her? I guess a read her as more of a self-righteous little bore, but that’s certainly hipster-adjacent.

T: I was going to compare her to “I don’t listen to CDs, I prefer vinyl” trope.

E: LOLOLOLOL. Okay, that’s fair, though as someone who listens to vinyl I *want* to say that’s different.

T: One of my notes midway though is just: “This episode is rough.” I don’t even know what it’s in reference to, but it holds up.

E: Oof, yeah. There’s very little I like here, from the clunky way the characters talk about technology to the anti-technology messaging. It’s about as subtle as a sledgehammer and boooooooring. Jesus, I’d rather go see Blue Man Group and you know how I feel about Blue Man Group.

T: You know what, it might have been the clunky “this is infinity” exposition. That’s rough.

E: Lol —that might’ve been the one scene I actually liked, but it *is* clunky.

T: *sigh* Is this another campy alien episode? The Diggers are aliens, right? Not just AI? I just want ONE serious alien episode in this series. Just one.

E: Totally agree it’s aliens. Maybe the reboot will do a solid take on aliens one of these days?

T: So Kate and Isabel go shopping. Kate tries on a green coat in the mirrors, bickers with Isabel, then leaves the store in the coat? Little klepto action going on. Note that she’s wearing the coat the entire rest of the episode. Too bad they didn’t add in a giant ink stain to the bottom of it from the anti-theft device.

E: Oh my god, I didn’t even notice this. Too funny. That’s what we call a continuity error, kids!

T: The Diggers are tricky villains. The dog is not scary, but you have to have it be sort of cute to entice kids to want it to be a virtual pet. I feel like they tried to have it both ways. Perhaps making it overly cute with cartoon eyes and a sweeter voice would make it creepier?

E: Ooooooh, yes, good call. As is, it's so close to being genuinely creepy but never...quite...gets...there. The glowing eyes worked better on Jake the Snake. Speaking of, have you noticed that three of the four episodes so far this season are about kids being transformed and collected in some way? The only exception is “Forever Game,” but even that was about kids being trapped forever in a dangerous place. Is it just a coincidence, or is there a reason AYAOTD? was mining this specific fear in the late-90s?

T: Megan’s Law came about in 1996, so was this building on those types of fears? Maybe. Also, it’s not just being collected, but gaming. Board game, gambling/arcade, hockey, computer games. This is the only season that has almost a theme running through it. There is one more episode about gaming, but it’s in the later half of the season.

E: Oooooh, good point — fascinating.

T: I started to check out during the third act and play Mushroom Wars, so I had to pull myself back in. It felt like I was watching a bad 2000s kid sci-fi show.

E: Yes. It is very much exactly that.

T: Every season has a clunker. That one episode that just doesn’t work and we rate much lower than the rest - “Sorcerer’s Apprentice,” “Locker 22,” “Phone Police,” “Long Ago Locket,” and “Manaha.” Hopefully this is that episode for season six. If it’s not, we’re in for trouble.

E: I’m going to be an optimist and say this is probably the low point of the season. They can’t all be gems!

T: Um, Tom and Isabel walking in lockstep is cool. Kate is terrible at shadowing people but that’s kind of funny. Um, what else is good, what else? The score is good.

E: Yes! The score! And the dead-eyed alien clones! Also, um...It’s not actually good, but I’m always amused by the inept and inaccurate ways technology is presented onscreen in the ’90s. I mean, that’s really the only thing that makes Hackers worth watching. And I get it! Because the average person was still mostly clueless, directors didn’t know how to translate some of this stuff to the screen and figured no one would know how badly they’d mucked it up. I wanted to scream at Tom in that first scene — “Do you have a webcam enabled? Is your microphone on? No? Then that talking website is pure, inexplicable evil and it’s clearly trying to kill you.”

T: It’s so hard watching Isabel and Tom walk Kate through using a computer for the first time. I feel like I’m trying to help my parents use their desktop. It almost always ends with me saying, “Um, can I just do that for you?”

E: Teaching people to use technology requires the patience of a saint. I always feel like the IT guys at my office are one PC LOAD LETTER away from a nervous breakdown.

T: Crashing the computer is a nice tie-in to solve the problem and get Kate more proactive.

E: Yeah, I suppose that bit works, though I laughed when Isabel’s laptop crashed and she said, “I must’ve overloaded the disk.” Disk?? What tween would’ve called a hard drive a “disk” in the ’90s?

T: “My mom is going to kill me,” is great.

E: LOL — poor Tom. Parents just don’t understand. Look on the bright side, kid. Your basement may be a shit show, but your digitized self didn’t get uploaded by aliens.

T: And Kate crushes the last Digger at the end – subverting the old “the evil is still alive, muahahaha!” trope (used in “Renegade Virus”), which is nice.

E: Though it really grinds in the anti-technology themes, I do like this little twist.

T: Is Megan really that much of a princess that she is pissed that her mom’s paging her at midnight so she’ll tell her where she’s at? Okay, yes, this entire time we should accept it isn’t REALLY midnight when the Midnight Society meets, but it’s fun to pretend.

E: One of the things I like most about this show is that the characters are theoretically sneaking out late at night to tell ghost stories. But if that’s really what’s happening, Megan’s reaction here makes no sense. She should be panicked that she’s going to get grounded! Dammit, show, stop trying to ruin yourself!

T: The more I got thinking about the actual script, I had to check out who wrote this. It’s got Chekov’s gun action going on and some nice lines. Turns out it’s Alice Even Cohen’s only script for the series, and she is an award-winning playwright. I would be very curious to read this episode’s script, because I’m starting to think it could work really well on the page.

E: Interesting! I’m not a fan of some of the dialogue and the anti-tech BS, but you’re 100% right that the major problem is the cheesy way it’s presented.

QUEER OR NOT?

T: Nope. That sure would have helped.

E: Lolololol — totally would’ve. Also doesn’t seem to be much material ripe for feminist analysis, but good for this ep for not being sexist.

T: Hey, it’s got two female leads and passes the Bechdel test, so that’s a plus.

E: Good point! Huzzah!

TRIVIA, USELESS TRIVIA

T: Of all ninety-one episodes of the series, there are only five in which none of the actors appear in any other episode. This is the last of that group, the other four being “Locker 22,” “Frozen Ghost,” “Apartment 214,” and “Bookish Babysitter.”

E: Wow! That’s a very impressive return rate for their actors.

T: The book Advanced Computer Language is written by I. Paterson. This episode is directed by Iain Paterson (who got our season four spotlight). This episode marks his last contribution to the series. He did not go out on top.

E: Poor Iain.

MODERNIZE ’90s CANADIAN KIDS

T: That’s precisely what the problem with this episode is, it’s too “modern.” We’ve seen the show take on “modern” technology before, but in “Renegade Virus” it was the central concept of virtual reality existing. Sure, that was kind of new, but by focusing on the idea of the technology and not techno jargon, it aged so much better than “Virtual Pets.” Since this touched on Little Shop of Horrors I’d lean into that. Take a technophobe tween, and pit her against an Audrey II-esque computer program. There’s potential there.

E: Oh, that’s an interesting idea. Though it struck me while I was watching this that our fears about technology at that time were really misplaced. Our cultural understanding of computers was still limited in the ’90s, so it makes sense that we would fear the computers themselves. But what we really needed to fear was each other. Technology has changed the ways we interact and has the power to warp our sense of reality, but WE are the real monsters. Given that, I’m not sure tweens and teens would relate to a technology-themed episode where the baddie is an actual machine, and not a guy behind a machine.

JUST GIVE IT A NUMERICAL RATING ALREADY

T: I like the theme. This episode is trying to say something, and I appreciate that. And that’s about it. Individual components even work, but sometimes the recipe can still not turn out right even with decent ingredients. This might be a tad harsh, I’ll admit, but I’m feeling like this earns 4.5 CAMPFIRES OUT OF 10.

E: Oh my god, you went there! Yeah, I’m not a fan. Not only has this one not aged well, I’m not sure it even worked at the time. But zombified kids are always fun so I’ll round it up to an even 5 CAMPFIRES OUT OF 10.