[AYAOTD? Recap with Erin Callahan] Season 3 Episode 7 "The Tale of the Carved Stone"

RECAP

Gary leaves a gothy scarecrow in the clearing to terrify the Midnight Society, and then dresses up to tell a story about a mystical monk who aspires to be a timelord.

New girl Alison just wants to make a few friends. When she accidentally breaks a cool kid’s trick eyeglasses, she heads to the Magic Mansion to buy a new pair. While she’s there, Sardo (No mister! Emphasis on the “do”!) sells her an “Egyptian friendship stone.” The stone doesn’t make Alison any friends but, unbeknownst to Sardo, it’s actually a powerful artifact that allows time travel. While being harassed by Brother Septimus, a mysterious monk who wants the stone, Alison uses the stone to travel through a mirror to 1892. She meets Thomas, a boy who lived in her room over one hundred years ago. They travel back to Alison’s time and have to save themselves and Sardo from the vicious Brother Septimus. They ultimately defeat the monk by trapping him in a mirror dimension. Thomas has to stay in 1892 but tells Alison he’s glad he made a friend.

Gary tells the crew that Brother Septimus was never heard from again and closes the meeting.

REVIEW

T: Frank gives Tucker a flat tire! I haven’t heard that term in forever. Aren’t those the worst?

E: That thing where you accidentally step on the back of someone’s shoe? I’m honestly not even sure I knew it was called a flat tire.

T: It doesn’t have to be by accident...

T: It looks like everyone carpooled together except for Gary, who came early to set up. Who brought Tucker?

E: I wondered the same thing. I mean, I assume none of them actually drive because they look like babies to me and that thought it just terrifying. But they probably all walk or bike to the woods and I suppose it’s plausible that they all ran into each other before arriving at the clearing?

T: I understand that Kristen’s gone now, but that doesn’t mean we need a new storyteller cosplaying. I give Gary a pass because it’s the first time, and it actually benefits the story. When Alison passes Brother Septimus, he’s serving scary face, but the audience is primed because of Gary’s cosplaying.

E: I enjoyed Kristen’s cosplaying, thanks very much. Gary’s cape theatrics are both hilarious and totally on point. Plus super queer but we’ll get to that.

T: I appreciate that they go back to having the storyteller’s narration right away instead of a short cold opening because there’s a lot to pack into this one. We don’t need to see her complain to her parents for a minute before getting into it.

E: Thank god, though jeezus flipping christ, how many of these protags are new kids? We’ve talked about this before and it makes sense as a trope (especially in the context of “Apartment 214”), but at least one member of the Midnight Society should be calling this shit out for overuse.

T: It is overused, but the show does a good job of varying the new kid characters. Sometimes it’s siblings, sometimes it’s during the school year or the break. Alison’s skirting that sad sack, poor me Eeyore vibe that can be irritating to watch, but she pulls it off in a realistic, relatable way. I never moved as a kid, but even being a freshman in college, you see a group of other students already laughing together on the first day and you’re like, “How do I become one of you!”

E: Alison’s situation is totally relatable and she’s exactly the kind of surly weirdo I would’ve ended up being friends with in high school. I wouldn’t have been part of the cool kid group she wanted to befriend, mind you. I just would’ve been the fellow surly weirdo she got stuck with. Can’t you just picture the two of us hanging out with Alison, shoplifting things from the Magic Mansion and watching Rocky Horror Picture Show in the basement of her house on Maple Lane? Maybe I only think this because she strikes me as a teen-girl version of Charlie from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

T: Oh yeah, had Alison moved to New Hampshire, she would have fit right in with us.

E: If only.

T: I love it every time they reveal the Magic Mansion! Sardo’s back and he references the “Dark Dragon” potion and the glasses Alison buys aren’t exactly Super Specs but close enough and I’m living for all of it. Someday, I just want someone to buy Sardo’s fake vomit already.

E: This might be my favorite iteration of Sardo yet. I just love that he has no clue what the stone does, but swindles Alison into buying it as a “friendship stone.” He’s the best kind of totally incompenent sleazebag with actual magical connections.

T: We’ll have to do a Sardo episode ranking when this is all over. This will probably end up in the top two or three.

E: Fully onboard with this.

T: How does Alison call the gaggle of teens? She’s new in town and has just seen them walking outside her house. Plot hole aside, I really appreciate the narrative curve of Alison trying to befriend them and then them blowing her off and having nothing more to do with the story. I thought the one nice boy would stick around, but nope.

E: I love that this is never explained though I suppose phone books were a thing back then? Anyway, the mean girl’s reaction is so hilariously bitchy. You called us over here for silly glasses, new girl? How DARE you! 

T: Sure, phone books were a thing, but you can’t turn to the Cs and find “cool kids” and just call them.

E: Or can you? 🤔 Pretty sure 1-800-COOLKIDS was a thing.

T: I like to think the inclusion of the nice boy is to hint that Alison will be friends with him after this, that she’ll be okay in her new home, despite that one horrible, horrible girl who’s nasty to her for trying to return their things? Like, what?

E: Troyson, come on. Does that sporty future prom king look like the kind of kid Alison’s going to be friends with? Alison will find the surly weirdos, rest assured. She needs the ’90s equivalent of nerdy, sheltered Thomas.

T: Hey, maybe the popular athletic boy has more going on, like he’s closeted and super into the 1920s and is in need of a surly weirdo bestie? Can you even imagine a YA book about that?

E: Can I?!? And how!

T: Brother Septimus is fucking intense for a kid’s show villain. Damn. All those close-ups. Ron Oliver, you did it again! So Brother Septimus is played by the amazing Frank Gorshin, the first guest star of the season. He’s best known as the Riddler from the Adam West Batman series (in fact, the Riddler was a low-level Batman comics villain until Frank Gorshin played him in the first episode, which elevated the character into one of Batman’s most important villains). Notably, Frank Gorshin was in that famous classic Star Trek episode with the black and white-faced aliens, Reverend Jack on Ren and Stimpy, and the movie Twelve Monkeys. But he was best known for stage performances and nightclubs where he was one of the most respected voice impressionists. I’ll quote Ron Oliver from our interview: Frank Gorshin was, of course, a legend and we were all in awe of him. He was a lot of fun, had great stories, and we never felt that he was “slumming” by being on a kid show!

E: He’s basically an immortal, magic-wielding Satanic monk who dresses like Judge Doom from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? It’s like all of my early-’90s fears rolled into one dude.

T: The way Septimus says “Alison” while floating outside the window gave me the creeps. He’s a pale guy in black so he doesn’t have the wild looks of Zeebo, or the Crimson Clown, or Ghastly Grinner, but his presence and effectiveness puts him up in the top tier of AYAOTD? villains in my book. That silver fingernail reveal alone is creeptastic in all the right ways.

E: I can only imagine what he does with that fingernail and that’s what makes it so scary. The show leaves it open to interpretation so your imagination can run wild with the terrifying possibilities.

T: Speaking of those other villains, we’re halfway through season three, and there’s still some hugely iconic characters/episodes waiting for us. It’s a testament that this isn’t one of those series that peaks early, it’s consistently iconic.

E: Oooooooh! Fun stuff to look forward to.

T: Alison goes one hundred years into the past and meets sling-shot wielding Tom. I dig it, even if he introduces himself with his full name like some “Old Man Corcoran” ghost.

E: Is that a thing kids really did pre-1950s? I suppose it makes sense. Being embarrassed by your parents/family seems like a post World War II thing. A post rock and roll thing.

T: Tom basically says, “If my grandma wakes up, she’ll cane me. She never lets me out of my house.” Um, child protective services, you’re needed on 15 Maple Lane ASAP (well, in 1892).

E: Sadly, I think child protective services is another post World War II thing. Speaking of, my dear friend Camille DeAngelis wrote a fantastic novel called The Boy From Tomorrow that is kind of like a novel-length, gender-swapped version of this episode, minus the Satanic timelord. Mild spoiler: One of the major plot points involves the girl from one hundred years ago detailing her mother’s terrible behavior and the modern boy being like, “Um, OMG, she’s abusing you, we need to do something.”

T: Tom’s story is really sad. He goes on this really quick adventure that gets cut short, and then goes back to his shitty life in the past. I know the takeaway is that he got to make a friend, but come on.

E: I have to confess I hate stories that end with “we can’t be together because REASONS.” I get that the mirror is broken and he can’t jump through, but we’re just gonna let this kid be caned by his grandma until he’s old enough to run away? Tragic.

T: I love that Sardo feels more connected to this story than “Dark Dragon.” Were you surprised when he showed up at Alison’s house to help? Of course he’s still greedy and messes things up, but he’s not a bad guy.

E: Such a smart move on the part of the writers to give him a more active role in this episode. In general, I think we’re seeing more adults involved in the central plots this season and not just as villains.

T: The mirror effects are perfectly passable. They could have tried something snazzier and it would have aged poorly.

E: You can’t really go wrong with blue lightning bolts. Classic.

T: It’s a Gary story – which means a character is trapped for all time in the Void – but this time it’s the villain!

E: Oh Gary. Always hittin’ us with the existential dread.

QUEER OR NOT?

T: I wouldn’t argue against a queer reading of Tom. I do appreciate that his interest in Alison is solely platonic. So many stories focus on romance when friends are important too, y’all.

E: I can get behind this. Also, to me, there’s something deeply queer about Gary’s cosplay. Maybe it’s just that Ross Hull was super into hiding behind that cape and then popping out with a smirk and a raised eyebrow?

TRIVIA, USELESS TRIVIA

T: Tom is played by John White. This was his first on-screen acting job, and he’s still a steadily working actor in Canada. American Pie fans might know him from starring in two of the spin-off movies. He’s good here, especially for it being his first TV role.

E: Can we confirm or deny that the actor who plays Alison is related to the actor who played Charlie in Willy Wonka?

T: Well, they have different last names and they’re from different countries, so…

E: Alas.

MODERNIZE ’90s CANADIAN KIDS

T: Time travel fun will never go out of style. However, I’d definitely cut Tom’s one-liner. “Check-out time” is so ’90s cringe. Also, I’d make this a two-parter and get some fun Alison-shows-Tom-present-day scenes in, even if it would feel like Bill and Ted.

E: LOL. But that one-liner is so damn funny! You’d also have to update Alison calling the cool kids on the phone. I’m pretty sure people under age twenty-five don’t use phones that way anymore.

JUST GIVE IT A NUMERICAL RATING ALREADY

T: What’s not to love? Sardo’s back and great as always, and the episode stands on its own even without him. It’s a fun premise with a fantastic villain. This is exactly what I want in a Gary story. 9.5 OUT OF 10 CAMPFIRES.

E: There are many things I love in this ep, but the “we can’t be together because reasons” thing sticks in my craw. 8 OUT OF 10 CAMPFIRES.