“I’ve always had the simultaneous fear of and attraction toward the unknown. And in these fucking dark and scary times, it’s easy to adopt a, ‘what difference does it make’ attitude. So I often find myself in these situations where my heart’s pounding so fast I can barely breathe. And I can’t tell if its excitement or terror. Or both.”

So begins Now Apocalypse, as Ulysses (Avan Jogia) walks through an alley and see something that chills him to his core. With a scream of terror that smash cuts to a scream of excitement, we find Ulysses having sex with a man who loudly yips, “Oh shit! My husband’s home!”

Meet Ulysses

He’s disaffected. Wastes his life with one night flings, tons of weed and “philosphical” pontificating through something that’s totally not a vlog (it is). But he wants something more. Like this incredibly hot guy Gabriel (Tyler Posey), who keeps ghosting him. Ulysses (Uly to his friends) came to LA with his best friend and platonic soulmate Ford (Beau Mirchoff) to be an actor but, as a small flashback shows, he and a dozen other people who look almost exactly like him are up for the same part. So he gave up. Which seems to happen a lot. But as he talks to his tablet as a way of, er, “downloading his thoughts” so his head doesn’t explode, he mentions that there’s something weird going on.

He’s having premonitions. But it could also be the weed. Which he smokes…constantly. But it could be something real, though. There’s signs for us to follow, like the homeless man he gives some money to, who keeps whimpering, “they keep fucking me” and has a sign that reads “The End of All Things is Upon Us.” Coincidence, or foreshadowing? With a series name like Now Apocalypse, I’m leaning towards the latter.

That night, he’s waiting for Gabriel to finally show up and he calls his other best friend Carly (Kelli Berglund) because Gabriel is 40 minutes late. “Am I tragic?” he wonders. But right as he’s about to give up, Gabriel bursts into the restaurant, oozing sex and charisma. He apologizes. They share a kiss. And even though Gabriel put an embargo on hookups, they duck into an alley to have a galaxy-exploding handjob. It’s like destiny.

Meet Ford

We meet Ford when Uly first came home from his married hookup to find his sexy roommate, completely naked, and having sex with his also completely naked semi-girlfriend Severine (Roxane Mesquida). Ford’s the kind of guy who’s so comfortable with his body and sexuality that his response to Uly finding them screwing on the couch is to say, “Sorry dude!” Uly doesn’t mind, either. They’re so comfortable with each other that they continue to have a conversation, even with Severine perched on top of Ford. Ford and Uly are platonically in love and I have a feeling that if Ford were even slightly further on the Kinsey scale of sexuality, they’d be romantic soulmates.

Ford came to LA to be an aspiring screenwriter and now sits at coffee shops, writing on his laptop that has a totally not conspicuous sticker on the cover that reads, “ask me about my screenplay.” And it’s either that or Beau’s incredibly handsome and adorable face that catches the eye of producer Barnabas Powers (Kevin Daniels). Again, I’m guessing the latter. He comments that Ford looks like an “ambitious, hardworking young man” and while Ford is incredibly happy to get noticed, I don’t think it’s the screenplay Barnabas is into. Regardless, Barnabas hands Ford a business card and wants him to send his script.

Uly agrees with my assessment when they meet up for a run. “Does he have any credits? That aren’t in porn?” he asks but Ford writes it off as paranoia. Mostly because, I think, Ford needs to believe this is real and true. Because he’s not having the best time with his relationship with Severine. He wants them to be exclusive, but later that night, while she’s looking at pictures of UFOs (foreshadow, much?) she rattles off the history of monogamy and is completely uninterested in it.

Meet Carly

Carly seems to be the more skeptical and street smart of the friend group. But, she, too, is stuck in life. While Uly is struggling with finding his place and finding romance and Ford is struggling with completely different goals with his girlfriend, Carly is just stuck. Her boyfriend Jethro (Desmond Chiam) is a wannabe actor who she used to be in sync with. But now he says things like, “Teach me, baby. Teach me how to drive you wild. I’m a vessel for your pleasure,” while they’re doing it. And Carly is totally not into that bad porno life. Can’t say I disagree. That sounds incredibly distracting.

The problem is that Carly feels trapped and she wants more from life than a guy whose mental state is a “blank void of nothingness.” To scratch an itch, she’s become a cam girl. Her username is “ONYRKNEES!” and her clientele are definitely of the sub variety. Here, she gets to break out of her mold. My guess is that it’s a way of having control in a life that she feels helplessly stuck in. And yet, even here she feels a bit disaffected. Still, she manages to get one of her clients to run lines with her. So she’s pretty damn good at her job, I’d say.

Meet Severine

Severine is the wild card of this foursome and the only hint so far that maybe Uly is onto something. She’s a scientist who works at some fancy agency with security requirements so high it requires a retinal scanner. After walking past a room that looks like it belongs on the set of The Martian, she meets with her team: twins Lars and Klaus. Whatever they’re working on is a “genuine priority one” and while it’s uncertain what that actually means, the fact she’s casually looking at pictures of UFOs later means its probably of the extraterrestrial nature.

This seems to be confirmed by a kind of depressing conversation she has with Ford. He’s intimidated by her and asks if she doesn’t want to be exclusive with him because he’s not smart. He knows she’s a scientist, but she corrects him and clarifies to him (and us) that she is an astrobiological theorist. And yet, with their mismatched IQs, she finds Ford to be extraordinary and is so enamored with his, er, “most magnificent cock.” But that’s why she doesn’t want to be exclusive with him. It’d be a crime to keep it to herself.

Poor Ford reluctantly agrees to an open relationship. And when she asks if he means it, he says he does…but he doesn’t. Ford is just desperate to be loved. And I don’t think love is a word that the socially-awkward Severine understands. He’s so earnestly naive. And I don’t think this is going to be a good journey for the two of them. I’m already feeling sad about it. If only he were further along the sexuality spectrum because I think Ford and Uly balance each other perfectly.

Meet Now Apocalypse

Back to that galaxy-shattering handjob Gabriel shares with Uly. Gabriel bolts immediately after to hook up with his band and Uly finds himself, high from the pot and the post-orgasm glow, stumbling down a familiar alley he’s been dreaming about. He hears someone crying out for help, and rounds the corner to see….a lizardman fucking the same homeless guy from earlier. Uly screams and the credits smash in.

#WTF?

Random Thoughts

My favorite lines
- “Just for the fucking fuck of it.”
- “It’s just like…dicks…flying at me, 24/7.”
- “You look hot and confused. That’s the ideal combination.”
- “I barely sat down and the guy asked if I would rim him.”
- “…..oh. Hmm.”
Are hairy guys making a comeback? Beau Mirchoff’s chest is so hairy and I’m in heaven. Here 👏🏻 for 👏🏻 it!
Beau looks like a good kisser. Uly’s imagined kiss with Ford is passionate and so hot. In an episode full of foreshadowing, I hope that this dynamic is explored more.
What’s up with the W symbol surrounding Earth that Uly sees on a dumpster in the alley? I’m sure that will come into play eventually, right?
I’m in love with the music choices. I used Shazam a number of times during this episode.
What’s up with the rapey lizardman? Is he an alien? A person in a lizard costume? The mystery begins.
Finally, is it just me, or do Uly and Gabriel look incredibly similar? Does Gabriel exist? Look below, and you tell me.

That’s it for the first episode. This is my first recap so I want to hear your thoughts. Did you like this? Is this something you want to see me continue? Please hit me up on Twitter and let me know what you think. Until next week, enjoy the end credits music.

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