[Panic Fest 2020 Review] Scare Package Celebrates and Playfully Roasts Our Favorite Genre

I went into Scare Package knowing nothing about it except for its tagline of “7 Directors. 7 Tales of Terror. 0 Working Cell Phones.” and the fact that I really enjoy anthology horror films. Originally titled Tropes, which is honestly a more apt—if probably unmarketable—title, this conglomeration of horror comedy, meta comedy and gooey gory fun is the perfect movie to watch with your horror friends. 

It opens like any good horror movie should: with a cold open directed by Emily Hagins entitled...well, “Cold Open.” And it’s here that I was immediately pulled into the hijinks this movie was selling. It tells the story of poor Jon Michael Simpson’s Michael Myers (no relation) who’s given instructions to do something bad. From changing the sign to direct people to the Abandoned Insane Asylum ten miles away to placing cursed dolls in attics, he’s the dude that gets the story going before exiting stage left.

But he wants motivation. He wants a bigger role. He wants to, you know, be on screen. “No offense, but you are not a character. You’re better off with what you have,” he’s told. But he just knows he can do more. It’s a hilarious opening that plays with expectations and horror tropes in such a brilliant way.

It then moves directly into the framing story call “Rad Chad’s Horror Emporium” about Chad (Jeremy King), a Joe Bob Briggs-loving owner of a video rental store called, appropriately, Rad Chad’s Horror Emporium. Much to the chagrin of Sam (Byron Brown), who is the self-titled master of VHS knowledge, Chad hires unassuming Hawn (Hawn Tran) as his assistant. This framing device by Aaron B. Koontz, who also produced and put the whole thing together, is a smart way of introducing the rest of the shorts by presenting them as stories and VHSs told by Chad. An almost campfire ghost story trope transported to horror nerd’s favorite place in the world. 

My favorite of the segments is the next short by Chirs McInroy called “One Time in the Woods.” It tackles the trope of camping in the woods and goes hilariously awry in about a dozen ways. It’s gory, gooey and the practical effects are just so freaking good and belly-laugh-inducing. This one is a real crowd pleaser and the audience in the packed Panic Fest theatre was just lapping up the oozy goodness. 

The rest of the segments carry on in similar genre-bursting ways. We have actor Noah Segan (Rian Johnson’s Looper and Knives Out)’s directorial debut “M.I.S.T.E.R.” that mixes werewolves, men’s rights activists (“what about womansplaining?!” one of the characters bemoans) and the real intent behind Fight Club together in a fantastically onpoint critique of that culture. 

This is appropriately followed by by Courtney and Hillary Andujar’s artsy “Girls’ Night Out of Body” segment that Chad describes as a “post-modern-feminist-slasher-body-horror” (say that ten times fast) before moving towards Anthony Cousins’ take on the unkillable slasher in “The Night He Came Back Again! Part IV: The Final Kill” before careening towards an almost back-door pilot take on spoiler culture by Baron Vaughn called “So Much To Do.”

Whew...oh wait! There’s one more. As the wrap-around comes into full force, Aaron B. Koontz goes balls-to-the-meta-wall with a perfect ending called “Horror Hypothesis” that has surprises galore that I know my fans on Twitter will go gaga for.   

I unabashedly loved this anthology horror comedy. Before the film, Aaron B Koontz (who oversaw the entire production) told the audience that this was a film “for horror fans by horror fans.” How many times have you heard that marketspeak? But here it actually feels true. Each of these writers/directors intimately understand the genre enough to celebrate and simultaneously roast it.

Unlike some anthology films, Scare Package never overstays its welcome and while it’s not a scary movie, it’s filled with so much gore and practical effects that I’m in awe of how an indie film pulled it off. Breezy and fun, it’s a charming and gooey ode to our favorite genre and its sometimes silly tropes. See it with a crowd and get ready to laugh your ass off.