[Pride 2021] Queer Splatterpunk: Finding Acceptance in Wild Zero

The place I grew up is the Eastern Shore of Virginia, a thin strip of the state that’s connected to Maryland. It was not very conducive to self-love as a queer person. The accepted values and beliefs were very old fashioned. I fit in fairly well…until I figured out that I was attracted to both women and men.

Because of the isolated nature of the Eastern Shore, and the lack of easy internet access at the time, the only thing that I knew about same-sex attraction was that it was “wrong.” This would’ve been around 2003, when music like Eminem was incredibly popular with the kids around my age. The homophobic slurs of the music spilled over into everyday conversation, and that was that. As a confused kid, I guess I also internalized some of it since I was surrounded by it. The side of me that liked other males was “wrong” and gross.” Trying to force myself to be “acceptable” and “normal” only made me more miserable, so I sought solace in films and music.

As self-loathing and isolation peaked around 2004-2005, I began to withdraw heavily into films, specifically horror films. I am a self-admitted gorehound, and that aspect of myself hasn’t changed to this day. At the time, imports from Japan were the biggest things on the scene. Directors like Takashi Miike (whose Ichi the Killer has very interesting bi-representation, but that’s for another time), Shinya Tsukamota and Sion Sono were the rising stars in my eyes. One day, through maybe Fangoria or Rue Morgue, I discovered a little punk rock splatter film called Wild Zero and I had to watch it.

Wild Zero is directed by Tetsuro Takeuchi. It’s also his debut feature film. Takeuchi was known as a music video director before Wild Zero, and pretty much returned to music videos afterwards. The film stars the band Guitar Wolf, which is composed of the members Guitar Wolf, Bass Wolf and Drum Wolf. The film positions them almost as supernatural/godlike entities, who, through the power of punk rock 'n roll, can do anything from appearing at the blow of a whistle to cutting an alien spacecraft in half with a katana. They are also positioned as the ultimate moral compass: their choices are the right ones and the things they stand for are correct. 

Since we can’t follow a film about all-powerful rock musicians, the film instead focuses on one of their fans: Ace. Ace looks the part but he doesn’t quite walk the walk. He looks up to Guitar Wolf, but feels like he doesn’t quite match the ideal that they display to him. Early on, he helps them out of a bind with a corrupt concert organizer. Guitar Wolf labels them blood brothers, and gives him a flute to blow if he’s ever in trouble.

Shortly after Guitar Wolf and Ace split up, zombies attack from out of nowhere. Ace fights for his life and meets a person that he’s immediately attracted to, the femme Tobio. After some close calls, they end up alone. With intimacy about to start, Tobio removes her clothes and Ace sees that Tobio has a penis (shown by cutting between Ace’s reaction and drawings of a penis). Ace gets upset and runs away, only to be visited by a vision of Guitar Wolf, who chastises him.

“Love has no boundaries, nationalities or genders! DO IT!!!”

— Guitar Wolf

This immediately snaps Ace out of it, who hears Tobio in trouble and races to help.

Let me tell you, this scene rocked me when I was younger. Ace was bothered because he didn’t think that what he was about to do was normal, so he panicked. Guitar Wolf set him straight, and let him know it’s good to be true to yourself and pursue love. What started as potentially a harmful gag is subverted and turned into a message of queer acceptance from others and yourself. It was almost the exact message I needed at that moment, just as it was what Ace needed to hear.

The most shocking thing about this movie from 2000 is that this isn’t played for laughs once Guitar Wolf lays down the law. It’s completely, painfully earnest in its embrace of LGBTQ+ people and the inner struggles of people who didn’t have a supportive environment to grow up. It almost felt, at the time, that Guitar Wolf was speaking directly to me, letting me know that it was OK to be me. By not seeking out queer films, I ended up tripping on one that has ended up meaning a lot to me.

After that revelation, and the rest of the film, I felt more at ease than I had in years. I was OK, I wasn’t an aberration. I started seeking out queer cinema to engage with, since I didn’t personally know anyone to talk to, and I started learning to love myself for who I was. Watching Wild Zero was like removing a mental block that had kept me spinning in circles, and I could finally start to grow as a person again.

It would be years before I would watch Wild Zero again. At its core, it's a very silly movie that has wonky pacing and questionable effects. I moved on and watched more films. I knew I was bi, and would tell anyone who asked, but I wouldn’t be loud about it. Still stuck partially in the shadows, my friends knew my truth but my family (parents, siblings etc) didn’t. I’m also married to an amazing pan-woman, which codes me as straight at first blush. It can be very difficult to shake the fear of coming out completely, especially when your earliest environment is mostly hostile to anything queer.

We recently bought a house, and my neighbors are some old punks that are honestly pretty cool. One night we decided to sit down and watch one of their favorite movies: Wild Zero. It had been years, but sitting down with it was like welcoming back an old friend. That moment hit me hard again, and I had to sit back and look at the sum total of my love. I will love who I love, I will live how I live. I’m bi, no more removable from myself than my nerves or my thoughts. It is a part of me and I’m proud.

This was only a couple months ago.

Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Always love yourself. People get out of the bad places and there’s support out there.

In a way, this is also me coming out completely and finally. I’m bi and I’m proud. 

Happy pride month y’all. This is basically my first.

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