[AYAOTD? Recap with Erin Callahan] Episode 2.12 "The Tale of the Hatchling"

RECAP

Sadboy David is even sadder than usual because he’s just been forced to change schools. The one silver lining? He channels his infinite sadness into a creepy, sci-fi-inflected tale.

Siblings Augie and Jazz have been shipped off to boarding school by their busy parents. The headmaster seems nice enough, but looks like he’s about to have a stroke when Augie’s digital watch goes off. In other weirdness, the school uses low-frequency tones instead of bells, no one is allowed to listen to music, and all of Augie and Jazz’s fellow students are addicted to “spunge,” a bland-looking slop they’re fed every night for dessert. Augie and Jazz pass on the spunge, which is a good call since it makes the rest of the students enter a trance state at night so they can care for a bunch of eggs in the basement of the school. Augie and Jazz discover that the headmaster and his wife are the last of a race of lizard people, but they plan to repopulate the earth once the eggs hatch and the lizard babies eat the students. Augie and Jazz almost get eaten by “the master,” the mother of all the lizard babies, but Augie the genius realizes the lizards don’t like high-frequency sound and literally makes their heads explode with the power of rock and roll. All the eggs are destroyed as well...except one.

Gary ends the meeting by telling everyone they should go straight home because it’s a “school night.”

REVIEW

T: Gary shows up early to start the fire, and he calls David “Dave” again. They have a special friendship, right?

E: *puts on Regina George voice* Gare, stop trying to make “Dave” happen. It’s not going to happen!

T: Kristen’s the only one who knows David moved across town. Not even Frank, who David initiated last year. This proves they’re socializing outside meetings and she’s really supportive again. I didn’t care for their relationship when it began, but by now I kind of like those crazy kids being together.

E: As cute as they are, David is such a sad-sack. Like, there’s a fine line between a sensitive guy and an emotional vampire and I feel like David’s in danger of crossing it. My girl Kristen deserves better.

T: In David’s last story, he opens by drowning a kid, and this time, he opens with a sewer monster eating a small dog. David should be in therapy, right?

E: Oh definitely, and not just for the dark imagery. David is routinely guilty of inserting some version of himself into his stories. This time it’s awkward, brainy Augie, who gets to play the hero at the end. David is clearly working through some shit.

T: David’s up to his usual vague descriptions. In “Tale of the Lonely Ghost,” Amy’s parents were “some sort of scientists.” Here, Auggie and Jazz’ parents go away “for business.”

E: They’re obviously international drug dealers, Troyson. My favorite thing about the parents is that they don’t even try to hug Augie or Jazz even though they’re not going to see them for a month. Maybe the hug was cut for time but damn. Ice cold. I love these two siblings and their polar-opposite personalities though. There’s something truly charming about the scene where Augie tries to hide in his bed and pretend the school isn’t run by Lizard People, and Jazz tells him to stop being such a passive rule follower. Like, I know I’m usually an Augie, but I strive to be a Jazz.

T: That’s totally a new personality trait game. Is someone an Auggie or a Jazz? I’m a lizard monster... *lowers head*

E: LOLOLOLOLslither

T: Sometimes, the characters in the stories represent Midnight Society members, like Dany being Kiki in “Tale of the Captured Souls.” Is Auggie a cypher for Gary? In “Tale of the Dark Dragon” he had a character named Gary. Now Auggie looks like him.

E: Oh wow. Now you’ve really complicated my self-insertion theory but I think it still works. David inserts a version of himself in each of his stories, but he also wants to be Gary. Jeezus, that kid’s got issues.

T: They do a great job of making this feel like an alien episode. I was excited to get a different take on them than “Tale of the Thirteenth Floor,” but it turns out the creatures are the exact opposite of aliens – they’ve been on Earth for millennia! This reminds me of the Sillurians from Doctor Who -- reptilian “aliens” who have been underground since before humans took over the planet.

E: Who doesn’t love a good Lizard People conspiracy theory? I can’t help but wonder if this tale was partially inspired by the classic/bizarro V franchise.

T: The whole spunge of it all is so weird. They never describe the taste, do they? Great way to leave it to the viewer’s imagination. And you got to love that one kid who’s like, “No, man, it’s not gross, because it’s ‘spunge’ with a U.” Like, what?

E: For real. That kid is clearly drinking the Kool-Aid...er...slurping the spunge?

T: The setting works well. There’s something inherently off about being thrust into an organization. Auggie and Jazz are outsiders in a cult-like setting. In fact, I get a weird Suspiria vibe from the school. Only instead of a witch mother, it’s a giant monster mother underground.

E: Yasssss, I love these parallels. The slimy green martinis that the headmaster and his wife drink after they toast to “the master” are such a disgusting and totally perfect touch. But where’s Udo Kier?

T: Fun Udo Kier fact since you mentioned him! He’s a close friend to writer/director Ron Oliver (readers note the name, he worked on seventeen episodes of the series and there’s something fun coming up with him shortly!) and even officiated Mr. Oliver’s wedding.

E: He was married by Udo Kier?? Screw doves and fancy-ass cakes. That’s what I want at my next wedding.

T: I think this is the only time the series goes big with the monster of the week. The dragon-queen creature mostly works for me. Considering the budget and the time, it’s probably done as well as can be expected.

E: It feels like an intentional throwback to old-school Hollywood monsters and I’m totally here for it.

QUEER OR NOT?

T: I didn’t spot anything, but I’ve been known to miss things before. Erin?

E: Didn’t spot anything queer, but I love that Jazz is both a badass and not a classic tomboy. Obviously there’s nothing wrong with girls who embrace typically masculine traits, but that should never be a prerequisite for a Strong Female Character. Here Jazz is unapologetically girly and that doesn’t stop her from taking action and being generally sassy. No surprise given their track record, but it’s another refreshing AYAOTD? take on gender.

TRIVIA, USELESS TRIVIA

T: Auggie’s played by Illya Woloshyn, who was starring on the Canadian series The Odyssey when he filmed this episode. He wouldn’t have been considered a guest star at the time, but he would have been somewhat well known by Canadian viewers.

E: Also, his name is amazing.

MODERNIZE ’90s CANADIAN KIDS

T: It wouldn’t take much to feel modern here, since private schools are still very much around.

E: They most certainly are, as are most key aspects of this story. Augie’s Walkman could easily be updated to an iPod, and given that the ’90s are so hip right now, I feel confident that kids will be wearing digital watches again soon.

JUST GIVE IT A NUMERICAL RATING ALREADY

T: This one didn’t grab me, but I’m not sure why that is. Auggie and Jazz are fine. The school and spunge is creepy. It just falls a little flat for me. Maybe I’ll rethink this one at some point, but for now, a shrugging 6.5 OUT OF 10 CAMPFIRES.

E: What? I’m shocked by your low rating. I really like the protagonists here and I guess I’m just a sucker for Lizard People horror. *checks to make sure human skin is covering scaly green skin* I’ll give it 8 OUT OF 10 CAMPFIRES.