[Motherland: Fort Salem Review w/ Joe Lipsett] Let's Talk About Sex...and Terrible Dancing in "Hail Beltane"

Each week, Joe (@bstolemyremote) and Terry (@gaylydreadful) review an episode of Freeform’s Motherland: Fort Salem, alternating between our respective sites — queerhorrormovies.com and gaylydreadful.com.

Spoilers for Episode four…

1.04 “Hail Beltane”: The base celebrates Beltane despite a potential threat. Tally and Gerit's connection grows while Abigail finds strength in competition. Raelle is haunted by tragedy and cannot get answers from the evasive Scylla.

TERRY

Oh boy, Joe! Last week, we bemoaned the complete lack of a M/M/F threesome and how heteronormative it all was and it was like the Goddess was listening and delivered in spades. “Hail Beltane” would have made Salt-N-Pepa proud as it was all about sex (baby) including Abigail (Ashley Nicole Williams)’s femme dom telling her two boytoys Clive Garland (Thomas Elms), and Augustín Alcala (Guilherme Babilônia), “Now you two.” And, reader, they made out.

“Hail Beltane,” indeed!

But I’m getting ahead of myself. As the episode opens, Raelle (Taylor Hickson) is still reeling from trying to save Porter (David Lennon) and while she’s feeling down on herself, the rest of the base doesn’t see it that way. “We are all incredibly proud of you. That kind of bravery can’t be taught,” Anacostia (Demetria McKinney) tells her. Even the usually taciturn Abigail tells her she’s proud of her. She even sticks up for Raelle when a group of recruits disrespects her...and she does so in typical Abigail fashion by telling them she doesn’t want to hear Raelle’s name come out of their “dirty fetid mouths” again. She certainly picks just the right word that’s both completely on-point and pretentious. 

Like we wondered last episode, Raelle did get something out of trying to save Porter because she’s now getting these little visions of him the night he jumped. She sees him going to talk to Scylla (Amalia Holm), even though Scylla told her she didn’t see him that night. Compounding Scylla’s lies is the fact that Abigail’s mother General Bellweather (Catherine Lough Haggquist) has shown up to tell General Adler (Lyne Renee) that she thinks the Spree have infiltrated the base. So not only are they going to bring Porter back to life briefly to find out what happened, but they are also doing a sweep of the cadets’ rooms to see if there’s any residue on the mirrors. 

Meanwhile, our girl Tally (Jessica Sutton) gets this world’s version of a dick pic via messenger bird and scroll...Abigail (rightly) says there’s no way he’s that big. And we’re off to the main event of Beltrane which feels like a mix of some southern gala mixed with synchronized dancing and public sex. 

And that’s where I’m going to hand it off to you, Joe, because I don’t dance. What did you think of “Hail Beltane”’s flashmob dance sequence? Were you as amazed at how the cast was replaced by professional dancers? Did the sex titilate? And did you know that our token gay dude’s name is Byron (Bennett Taylor) because the only reason I knew is that I had my subtitles on. 

JOE

Titillate is probably too strong a word since I definitely laughed at the romance cover sex between Tally and Gerrit. I will echo your sentiments, however, that I appreciated the brief threesome encounter (although it did feel a bit like Motherland thinking it’s “edgy”).

But oh lord, Terry, that fucking dance sequence. What. A. Disaster.

Look, I’m on the record as having two left feet, so I’m no expert, but as a big ol’homo who has watched nearly every single season of So You Think You Can Dance, every Honey movie, and watches Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist on the weekly....the Beltane dance sequence was freaking painful. If you’re going to do a coordinated dance sequence, then do it. But don’t have part of it be random people throwing their uncoordinated bodies around, and half of it look like the prom sequence from She’s All That. And for the love of Goddess, hire a director who knows how to shoot a dance sequence so it doesn’t look like people are appearing and disappearing throughout the number!

It’s a travesty, is what I’m saying Terry. I hated it. HATED it.

Now, with that rant over with, I can turn my attention to the rest of the episode. On one hand, I appreciate the continuity in this episode. Last week introduced Beltane, and in true Motherland fashion, very little details were provided, so I was happy to see this week’s episode act like the second half of a two-parter so that we could see what the fuss was all about. So I applaud the series for taking the time to actually explore a weird quirk of this fabricated world. It’s what you and I have been asking for over these first few episodes and, in that way, “Hail Beltane” delivers.

On the other hand, nothing really happens? I appreciate that Tally’s arc has been about her discomfort around boys as a result of her matrilineal background, and this is the culmination of her journey towards womanhood (ick for having to write that). But, in all honesty, there’s so little to this episode - bad dancing leads to everyone getting laid and there’s a whole thing about Scylla worrying that she’ll be found out for driving Porter to kill himself. Shocking no one, her attempts to raise the temperature in the morgue fail, but she’s protected by some random Spree agent who magicks the canary so that Porter’s corpse lies about the events of his death. The only surprising element is how uncomfortably sexual it was seeing David Lennon’s nearly naked corpse jiggling and writhing as the Necros performed the Seed spell to resuscitate him. 

So yeah, while I applaud the continuity and the silliness of all the sex magick, a lot of this didn’t work for me because the stakes simply aren’t high enough. I confess that I’m also getting increasingly frustrated with how dumb Raelle is. Her mid-Beltane conversation with Byron - who I also needed subtitles to name - confirms that she doesn’t entirely trust her girlfriend, but apparently she’s so “in love” with Scylla that it’s worth risking everything for. 

As a frequent reader/watcher of YA properties, this kind of blind devotion to love isn’t unusual, but as an adult, it is pretty irritating. I want my heroine to be smarter than this and the way that Scylla placates her with kisses and a few weak sounding excuses is aggravating. Raelle is presented as strong, capable and smart in all other areas of the show, then the writers dumb her down to ignoramus status whenever Scylla is involved. It does track, but it’s not enjoyable to watch, particularly when you consider the messaging to Motherland’s (presumably) young female audience is “your loins make you stupid.” 

Speaking of stupid, Terry, what did you make of Abigail’s mom missing the (kind of hilarious) floating Spree balloon in Scylla’s mirror? Should we make anything of the fact that Witchfather (Nick E. Tarabay) gave Raelle Porter’s Scourge? And, all complaints aside, that shot of the Biddies with their arms raised in a circle around all the sex was kind of evocative, no?

TERRY

You mentioned the “your loins make you stupid” part Joe and I agree, particularly when it’s combined with the other theme this episode seemed to suggest: losing your virginity gives you power as it signifies, as you rightly addressed, progression to being an adult. I mean, this is typical in all coming-of-age stories, hetero or no, but it’s an odd juxtaposition between the two. What also jumped out at me was the combination of sexual pleasure and death rituals, particularly as Porter not only was writhing while the sex was happening, but also he’s presented solely in an exceeding small loincloth. I’m here for the male objectification, tbh, but this was a little ridiculous. 

Abigail’s mom missing the bizarro-world Pennywise balloon (cuz...it’s blue and not...red...work with me, this is my attempt at humor mid-quarantine and it’s all I got) was emblematic of my issues with this episode. On one hand, you’d think the Head of Intelligence would know how long to wait before something materialized. I’m worried about the Witches’ Intelligence department if they miss something this minor. 

But it also felt like a traditional sitcom: a problem is introduced...but it’s solved by the end of the episode, putting us back at the status quo. Outside of the knowledge that the Spree are helping Scylla, the main plot did not get furthered at all. As you so clearly pointed out, Raelle has spent two episodes doubting her girlfriend, only to be assuaged via kisses or Scylla’s sob story “I’m a Dodger waaah.” Any of the potentially incriminating and interesting developments this episode introduced (Raelle can see Porter’s visions! There’s Spree/mirror residue! Porter’s going to talk!) are dropped just as quickly.  

The only interesting thing is the scourge the Witchfather gave Raelle...but I’ll be honest Joe, at this point I don’t know if that will ultimately be interesting or if it was a way for the story to put him behind us. I’m also curious why the Necros don’t participate in any of the war training. Even if you’re in the intelligence department or other typically far-from-combat parts of the real world military, you still go through basic training and weapons training. Why are they keeping them apart from the rest of the group, when all that would do is continue to foster distrust in their powerful, albeit creepy, work? 

So many questions! So much information just slowly parceled out. I totally missed the Biddies raising their arms while the sexing was happening, Joe. but back to you...how are you feeling about Abigail right now and her relationship with Raelle? Are you interested in heading to a wedding soon? And do you think the boys will make an appearance again this season?

JOE

Given Witchfather’s connection to Adler, and Tarabay’s status in genre TV (he was a big name on Spartacus, as well as The Expanse) I wouldn’t be surprised to see him return. As for the boys from his school...it’s entirely possible that we’ll see some of them at Abigail’s cousin’s wedding, although it’s far more likely that that storyline will focus more on a showdown between the Bellweathers and the Swythes (because zzzzz). 

Honestly, at least we’re making some progress with Abigail. She’s still the least interesting of our main trio by far, though her commitment to the unit and defending Raelle hopefully portends the end of their animosity to each other. We’ve known it was manufactured conflict since the pilot (just as her hatred of Sarah Yarkin’s Libba is), so the sooner it’s all in the rearview, the better.

Overall, “Hail Beltane” confirms to me that Motherland is far better at teasing developments and dipping its toe into world building than it actually is at moving the narrative forward. I love all of the little elements, particularly the mythology and the lore, but when we see broader aspects of this world play out, they’re either too brief, too obscure, or simply unfulfilling. 

My enthusiasm for the show isn’t exactly dampened, but as we move into the mid-section of this first season, it may be time to dial back our expectations of what the show can realistically deliver on a weekly basis. Perhaps we’ll feel differently when we look back after episode ten, but for now, Motherland isn’t selling me on its ability to move the dial on a week by week basis. 

We’ll see if I’m proven wrong when we head to Abigail’s cousin’s wedding in “Bellweather Season” next week back over at QueerHorrorMovies.