[FAFF 2019 Review] Tammy and the T-Rex is Art
When Steven Spielberg set out to make Jaws, things could have quickly and easily gone astray. It’s said that the reason it worked so well was because of a series of happy accidents. The chaotic nature of the animatronic shark, for example. The glorious casting. Production disasters that forced unique ways to tell the story. A confluence of events came together to make a masterpiece.
Who knew that nearly twenty years later, a similar convergence of casting, animatronics and directorial acumen would somehow create the art that is Tammy and the T-Rex. Or, according to the misprinted title: Tanny and the T-Rex.
It starts with a theatre owner in South America approaching filmmaker Stewart Raffill (Mac and Me) with an oddity. He was briefly in possession of an animatronic T-Rex and he told Raffill, “we can make a movie with it!” Nevermind there’s no story or script! Time was short, so Raffill whipped up a screenplay in a week and off they went.
You can’t make up stories like that, folks.
Except it gets weirder. The movie Raffill made was an R-rated gorefest that ended up getting diced up to get a PG-13 rating. About ten minutes of gore was stripped from the film and, after watching the appropriately subtitled “The Gore Cut,” I’d really like to see the cut version because I can’t imagine it made much sense. Okay, okay. Made even less sense.
But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Tammy/Tanny (Denise Richards) is your typical cinema suburban high schooler. A cheerleader who’s dating the high school football stud Michael (Paul Walker). We know he’s a footballer because he’s introduced in a crop top and football pants. Michael wants to give Tammy a yellow rose which is an odd choice, considering that’s typically reserved for platonic love. Regardless, she refuses it because her ex Billy (George Pilgrim) is a violent bully who thinks Tammy belongs to him and she doesn’t want Michael to get hurt.
Which...ew.
But Billy does show up and he and Michael get in a...let me check my notes...a testicular standoff. The yokel police show up just as Billy grabs Michael’s junk and holds onto it. Then Michael grabs Billy’s crotch and they just...stand there, moaning together. Squeezing each other and moaning, holding on even when one of the cops tells Billy, “you let go of that boy’s gonads!” This testicular moment causes a rift that eventually ends up with Michael in the hospital, in an apparent coma.
Meanwhile, across town, mad scientist Dr. Wachenstein (Terry Kiser) has this algebraic equation: Animatronic T-Rex + X = Money, solve for X.
A brain, you guys. He needs a brain. Hijinks ensue and Michael’s brain ends up in the dinosaur who, upon seeing his former body lying dead on a slab goes on a murderous rampage.
A year prior to this movie, a little film called Jurassic Park came out and while the animatronic dinosaur of Tammy and the T-Rex can’t compete, it does one-up Jurassic Park by unleashing the dino in a city. Basically, It Lost Worlds Spielberg before the sequel’s ending was probably even a kernel of an idea.
Tammy and the T-Rex is stupid fun. I’ve been a bit glib in this review, but I unabashedly enjoyed this movie and it’s partly because of the cast. Denise Richards has never been known for her acting (though I legitimately loved her in that 30 Rock episode), but she gives such an earnest performance here that I could almost believe a woman might love a robotic dinosaur. Paul Walker, in one of his first film roles, just effortlessly charms with his goofy smile. And Terry “Weekend at Bernie’s Bernie” Kiser goes for broke as the lascivious mad scientist who somehow thinks his dinosaur will lead to immortality.
But it’s Theo Forsett as Tammy’s gay friend Byron who gives a performance that would make Billy Porter proud. I love Byron. And it’s a nice change of pace to see an early 90s movie where a gay man is almost never mocked for his femininity, outside of one egregious moment with the cops. It was refreshing to see a POC queer character who, yes, falls into the gay sidekick trope, but has agency through the film. It’s a shame the film seemed to have sidelined Forsett’s acting career. I would love to talk to him about this film. So if someone could make that happen…
When you really think about the parts that went into making this film, it's an amazing achievement that 25 years it's receiving a celebrated release. It's a film in which a mad scientist pokes different portions of Michael's brain to give him a raging erection. But I’m glad it’s being rediscovered twenty five years later, thanks to Vinegar Syndrome. It’ll go down as a fantastic party film. One you want to grab your friends and go watch in a crowded theatre to laugh, as Denise Richards rides her animatrons boyfriend dinosaur off into the sunset.
A confluence of events, indeed.